she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
