There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
