Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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