HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
