Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
