my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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