But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
