Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
