Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
