I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
