I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
