she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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