The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
