some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She bit a glass in half.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
