Will you blow on my dice?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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