bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
