she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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