A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That accounts for only three of the penises
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
