I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
