Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
