the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
