We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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