Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
