I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
