So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
