is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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