you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just want nice things and good sex
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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