In America we eat man semen.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
