I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
