HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
