Do you still have your period?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
