If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My pussy is not your playground.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
