I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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