Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
