please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
