and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
