when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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