he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
