I feel like abortions should bother me more
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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