Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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