she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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