You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
