hotel room ftw
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My pussy is not your playground.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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