the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
