dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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