The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
