i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
