i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
