you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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