I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
