Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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